Screw it cried Pythagoras and The Worm

John Irvine



"Screw it!" cried Pythgoras to Archimedes over an oyzo and octopus lunch, and he did...



in his geometric wisdom

would have clapped his hands

at our rainy day today.


The hypotenuse

of the aforesaid rain

although we couldn't see it

was somewhere way

over the western hills

out in the Hauraki Gulf

whilst the right angled line

crossed my window

a continuous silver stream

from top left

to bottom right

striking the base line

mutiple blows

forming a mercurial





Over my third pre-lunch wine

I wondered if the world

instead of being round

or flat

as various traditionalists would have it

is in fact triangular

with only the scale

making a difference to perspective.



The worm  


this taste was like no other taste
and I'd eaten raw fish once
tiny and transparent
crunchy and salty


this was a fat and pink

and slimy taste

sluggishly writhing

on my outstretched tongue

 with the muskiness
of damp soil
and the feel of five pairs of eyes
wet on my mind
desperate for me fail


I couldn't chew it
but I swallowed it whole
teeth clenched against
possible regurgitation
holding out one chubby hand
for the wagered marbles


John Irvine is an Old Aged Pensioner in New Zealand with delusions of immortal failure and a cynical view of life. He has a mole under his left arm, and a wife who hates pizza and tripe. He hopes to die painlessly one day without warning, and with a minimum of leakage.  He had a volume of poetry published in 2005 by Zenith Publishing Group:  of New Zealand called Man of Stone. It has been positively reviewed in NZ's Takahe magazine by Raewyn Alexander, in Valley Micropress by Tony Chad and given a thorough rubbishing by Sam Smith of The Journal in the UK. John's pathetically grateful for all of that. He also has a web site where you can waste some time:  He has also had a collection of  pathetic poetry illustraed cleverly (for an Australian) by Dave Freeman called Rat atouille for the rindless. We’re currently suing Disney…  He was at one time poetry editor of Canadian teen writer’s magazine What If? Running his own online writer’s group, participating in two others, administering to the What If? Online forum and teaching poetry to primary school kids in his home area keep the old gent busy.  He has been published in any number of print and online magazines, including Australian Reader, Wicked Karnival, Black Ink Horror, Illuminations, Sam Smith’s Select Six, Whispers of Wickedness, Scifaiku, Stylus, Kokako, the NZ Poetry Society's 2006 haiku anthology and NZ’s own Magazine. And now he may be read in that truly amazing, splendiferous, astounding, heroic Canadian online magazine Noneuclidean Café.


Photo "Ocean's Fury" by Bella Dante.



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Poems Copyright © 2008 John Irvine. All rights reserved.
Photo Copyright © 2008 Bella Dante. All rights reserved.