The Seven Deadly Sins and In Defense of Arachnids

John Irvine



The Seven Deadly Sins

linked mirror cinquains


1) Greed


My bank

once paid such low

interest on my cash

and investments that I bought it.

Now I

pay a

higher interest to myself

and have become richer

than Croesus or

Bill Gates..



2) Wrath



is a gentle,

peaceful occupation.

Woudst that I could write tranquilly

of my

deep angst

without her unbelievably

noisy bloody high-pitched

mindless screeching




3) Lust



woman she is.

Charity queen last year.

Helps place disadvantaged orphans,

and finds

funds to

aid handicapped men like me, but

all I want to do is

get into her




4) Gluttony


No thanks!

Iím full up to

pussyís bow. Oh, OK--

a small fifth helping then, thank you.

I can


just regurgitate to fit in

the Black Forest gateaux

with the whipped cream

canít I?



5) Sloth


I know

I have the skill

to write such clever verse

groaning with philosophical


And yet

each time I take up my pen to

record these thoughts I find

I just canít be




6) Pride



say that I am

a clever scholar and

a fast learner. But itís not that

at all.

I must

be entirely honest with you

and admit the plain truth.

I am just brill




7) Envy


Who cares?

So heís got cash

and a pretty young wife.

So what if heís got a top job

with a

big firm

and a chauffeur-driven Lexus?

Do you think that I care?

Who needs that crap?

Not me!



In Defence of Arachnids

a Spenserian sonnet


I admit my legs are long and hairy,

that I scuttle to and fro with no sound.

That having eight eyes is weird and scary,

and with dire toxic poisons I abound.

But for kinder reasons I am renowned.

For example, my cuisine is benign

for to flies and mosquitoes I am bound.

On these harmful pests Iím programmed to dine,

leaving your abode as pure as a shrine.

My lace creations adorn your ceilings

shimmering, and complex as any wine.

I beg you, reconsider your feelings

and take a spider to your heart today.

Aspire not to yet another cliche.


John Irvine is an Old Aged Pensioner with delusions of immortal failure and a cynical view of life. He has a mole under his left arm, and a wife who hates pizza and tripe,. He hopes to die painlessly one day without warning. He has a volume of poetry, recently published by Zenith Publishing Group ( of New Zealand, called Man of Stone. It has been positively reviewed in Takahe magazine by Raewyn Alexander, and in Valley Micropress by Tony Chad. Heís pathetically grateful for that. He also has a web site where you can waste some time:  He has been published in a number of print and online magazines, including Australian Reader, Wicked Karnival, Sam Smithís Select Six, Stylus and Magazine, and now in the truly amazing Noneuclidean Cafe.

Photo "Lusty" by Bella Dante.




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Poems Copyright © 2006 John Irvine. All rights reserved.
Photo Copyright © 2006 Bella Dante.  All rights reserved.